Blogblogan Tayo!

CardCaptor Sakura and its underlying context

2010-11-16T13:02:00.014+08:00

We all know what this amazing manga/anime from an equally amazing mangaka CLAMP is all about. Little cute girl wearing girly dresses and a cute staff she uses to seal Clow Cards to save the world from imbalance the cards may induce.

In a gist, this series attracts little girls usually of age 6-8. It was serialized around the end of the 90's decade and was finished eary 2000's. It's main theme is friendship, of course - as most anime is about.

I started watching this anime way back high school. I thought Kinomoto Sakura was cute and Li Syaoran was uber hot! However, I've only read the whole manga mid-2009, and boy was I in for a treat!

First off, this manga had contexts that are not usually included in most stories or cartoons intended for little kids - well, at least the western and Filipino stories I've grown up with. I was inspired to write this blog after I've posted in a forum in MangaHelpers regarding culture shocks readers and watchers alike experience when exposed to the Japanese subculture of animation.

As a disclaimer, though. Since the said manga contains sensitive issues and non-conformist beliefs, I also deem that this doesn't entirely represent the Japanese culture, but just the mere awesomeness of this group of mangaka.

THE CONCEPT OF SOULMATES

It is a staple formula for all CLAMP manga to tackle soulmates - most of the time, in their own subtle way. And in this idea of soulmates did CLAMP introduce all sorts of love in their stories. In my understanding, CLAMP believes that a soul will always have a significant someone, and in all alternate worlds or even in the afterlife and reincarnation, both twin souls will always have the same heart and the same soul.

The thing about CLAMP is they also believe that love will transcend all kinds of love in our normal sense. What exactly do I mean?

CardCaptor Sakura (CCS) introduced several pairings that could make conservatives scream: IMMORALITY!

'ILLICIT' LOVE AFFAIRS

1. Kinomoto Touya and Tsukishiro Yukito

My personal favorite. The first chapter of the manga introduced them as best buddies going to school together while - wait for it! - Yuki rode at the back of Touya's bike. Yes, they shared the same bike - and the first time I read that panel, I was all: "What the hell?!" Then, next chapters, CLAMP drew Touya feeding Yuki with a fork! Again, I was like: "What the hell is wrong with this manga?!"

Eventually, towards the end, Yukito ended up admitting to Sakura that his most important person was none other than her brother. I was all: "Oh my god! Hanyaaaaaan!"

2. Li Syaoran and Tsukishiro Yukito

This was just a little crush Syaoran had with Yuki. Ok, not really so little - with all the reddest blushes and gifts he showers Yuki. But then, it was explained that Syaoran was just attracted to Yukito's moon powers. But still...

3. Kinomoto Sakura and Daidouji Tomoyo

This panel says it all. And just a background, Tomoyo's mother and Sakura's are first cousins. You do the math. Yuri's (girls' love) not just what's implied in this relationship.

4. Sasaki Rika and Terada-sensei

Hai! You've read it right. That's Terada-sensei, Rika and Sakura's teacher. And both girls were in the elementary that time.

There were fans who insist that Kinomoto Touya has a sister-complex with Sakura - implying that he sees her more than just a sister. I, on the other hand, do not believe this to be so. CLAMP didn't intend it to be like that, is what I want to argue. Touya is just super overprotective over Sakura. That's it.

Oh, and did I mention Sakura's father married Nadeshiko (her mom) while she was just in high school, and dad was their sensei? Yep, CLAMP's big on that.

Don't forget Yue's encompassing love for Clow Reed.

There you have it. How many great manga includes Shounen-ai (boys' love), Shoujo-ai (girls' love), Pedophilia and Incest in one go?! Plus a manga targeting little girls as its audience?

CLAMP'S NON-CONFORMITY

The thing about CLAMP is that they regard these relationships as 'normal'. Meaning, they don't make these issues as the main theme. They deem yaoi boys as nothing but a normal relationship in their manga. In fact, I can give you a list of yaoi pairings in all their manga, and none of them are confused boys angsting about their sexuality. Don't get me wrong here, I know identity crises are not a laughing matter, especially with pubescent teens. But, I want to point out CLAMP's take on this: these relationships as 'normal'.

Also, the best part of it, they don't label. They don't write Tomoyo as a lesbian, or Yukito as gay or Terada-sensei as a pedophilic teacher with a thing for young girls in sailor uniforms.

They treat each characters as one soul in love with another soul; the souls just so happened to be of same blood, or of same sex, or of a huge age gap.

And with that awesome premise, Yuki and Touya are not gay couples, ok?! They're just two high school best friends who happened to inevitably fall in love with each other! *commence fangirl screams. NOW*

Then, that begs the question. Why, you ask, would CLAMP introduce such social issues into their stories? Simple. Mere Education.

It's about time for young girls - and boys - to be tolerant of these things. In most of their manga, they have Yaoi boys, pedophiles, and their Mizuki-chan's Wonderland is an ecchi (H, as in hentai) yuri manga with characters that match Sakura-chan's moeness and innocence.

They don't write to have fangirls and fujoshi (literally means rotten girl, but context is otaku girls obsessed with yaoi) screaming and bowing at hot smexy beautiful boys kissing each other.

They write these themes so the audience would learn how to tolerate these kinds of love our society deems immoral. And there's no better way to start teaching them but at a young age.

With that, I salute CLAMP for strong 23 years of creating volumes of epic manga. And they welcomed their 23rd year with a new manga, Gate 7, with all the CLAMP formula that changed manga through the years. Cheers, CLAMP!

Noted!

2010-10-25T10:36:00.005+08:00

One last. Clutter Free. Or not.

Something's wrong with my blogger. It won't save the preferred settings, like the font size, paragraph spacing, etc. Or is it just my blogger layout. I'm thinking of a next project. Prolly, make a website layout for my blog. I don't want to switch to another blog! I've had this for almost four years! Posted to Blogblogan Tayo!

Halloween Layout: Kimi Monogatari

2010-10-25T09:05:00.009+08:00

So, I did another layout for today. I can't seem to stop making one! Is this addiction or stalling? I wouldn't know. I used the Into the Pumpkin Patch Freebie by Createwings Designs. I love the feel of the pumpkin and the trellis and the crow. A bit of Halloween with a bit of angst. If you can't make out the text, it said: Why we had to each be lonely, was it just the season? Yes, a line from Norah Jones' Shoot the Moon. The hiragana characters said Kimi Monogatari (The Story About You), one of Naruto Shippuuden's ending song. See? Angsty! Just the way I like it. I just had one problem, though. And it's really irritating me. I finished this layout last night. I saved it, and all and went to sleep. This morning, I edited it and added the hiragana characters. I also tried pasting some pictures but I can't make it fall into place. I mean, the photo overlays the frame, and the frame's details would not show up. I tried switching the layers, but the background would then cover the photo. I don't know what to do! I tried googling it up, but no specific answers. I even tried masking the inside of the frame, but it wouldn't budge. So there. Maybe you'd have to finish everything first before ultimately saving everything as a finished layout. Such a bummer. :( Posted to Blogblogan Tayo!

Hana - Yaoi Version :)

2010-10-25T00:54:00.007+08:00

Ok, so it's a good night. Two layouts finished in a six-hour period. And below is my second digiscrap layout, Hana (flower); and I credit Akizo Designs for the wonderful freebies I had happily downloaded and used for Hana. To the left is Hana; and to the right is a collection of my favorite Yaoi boys: Yukito and Touya, Naruto and Sasuke, and Ichigo and Renji. Actually, IchiRenji are really trumped by ByakuRenji in my BLEACH shounen-ai pairings, but I don't have a picture of them, and I was too lazy to look for one. But this is my favorite IchiRenji sketch. And so, I end my night with much, much yaoi love from my beloved yaoi boys! Oyasumi, boys! :) PS. Naruto manga chapter 347 had me convinced that there is a high probability that Kishimoto Masashi would make NaruSasu a canon. Yes, I know this is a shounen manga, and fanboys would flip! But, there's just too many signs! And I'm loving it! *gasped* Posted to Blogblogan Tayo!

Project Fodder

2010-10-24T21:28:00.007+08:00

Sembreak is boring, but quite productive. I've finished two anime series, read three new manga (2 oneshots, 1 series), edited scrap photos and learned the basics of manga scanlation (just until cleaning, since cloning brings out the OC in me), and now, digiscrapping! I've tried learning it before but I didn't have the patience. Now, I'm done with one. Project Fodder. All fodder photos were enhanced (except for the litter at the bottom of the pic, which was taken by my sister) and were posted in my first digiscrap template, Aki (Autumn). Unfortunately,all these sembreak activities were done to set aside one important task I have to do. Beating around the bush, instead of beating the deadline! Posted to Blogblogan Tayo!

You Just Gotta Have Faith!

2010-08-06T10:38:00.005+08:00

I know this post would make me a heretic, given that I was raised in a religious family, and hell, my name is mentioned a thousand times in the Bible. But after reading Anne Rice's shared link about an article written about her Facebook status quitting Christianity, I just got to write this blog. Well, we know about Anne Rice, and I have read a lot of books from her that when I added her as a fan in Facebook and read one of her status on how Sundays were keeping her on a high and going to church was something that she looks forward to each week, I really commented on that status and called her a fake Anne Rice. Yes, I knew about her sudden conversion to Christianity when her husband died and when she published her Jesus stories. But I didn't expect her to be as devout as she once had been. But after reading most of her FB posts about her beloved vampires and gay marriage proposition plug-ins every night, I kind of knew her quitting Christianity was inevitable. And I kind of understood where she was coming from. Don't get me wrong. I am a fairly religious person. I believe in a higher being, whether that be God or Allah or Kabunian or Kami-sama. As a young scientist, I see it manifested in every scientific system I studied. And in everything I do, I let it go and let the Higher Being run everything for me. I have my Faith. And in that Faith that I got to get through everything. But like Anne Rice, I quote Mahatma Gandhi, "I like your Christ, but I don't like your Christians. Your Christians are unlike your Christ." There are a lot of religions that sprung out like mushrooms. And one funny part is that, if one group disagrees to what the larger religion they once belonged to said, they leave and create their own - adding more misinterpreted or new meanings to what the Scripture said. Religion was created by man, obviously. And I remember one talk I attended back in college about how women became less superior to men. And in one of the books discussed in the symposium, when the Church (Catholic, I think) had risen to power, they used their position to return economics, leadership etc to the male species - as back then, matriarchal societies were more of a norm. And in that context, I was a bit convinced that since religions were diverse, and a lot of interpretations about various Scriptures were introduced, it is likely that Man would give such interpretations based on what they want to hear, or based on what they want their sect to believe in. Thus, the unending debate between Born Again Christians and Catholics and Protestants and of course, the Muslims. And of course, the abusive use of our prayle to instill unreasonable 'godly passages' on our Filipino minds. Is it then okay to agree to the Anne Rice article and say, "We'd be better off without a religion." ? I personally do not belong to any religion. I just wrote Born Again when filling up forms as that is what my family's religion is. But I go to church every now and then, only that I go to churches of different beliefs. So, I am kind of tempted to agree to that quote; however, I also believe going to Church is like being in a fellowship with the people whom you share common beliefs with. You worship together, you pray together, those kinds of cliche. But I also believe that our religion shouldn't dictate what we should or should not do. Our religion should not define who we are. And our Faith should always transcend religion. Which reminds me of the Church's stupid insistence on blocking the Reproductive Health Bill. It was crazy that NoyNoy assigned the DepEd post to a very religious person, god DepEd Secretary is a priest! Of course sex education, which is a part of the RH Bill, would be highly discouraged in the curriculum! There was a reason why the Separation of Church and State was mandated years and years ago! And to have a bill's future be dictated by a moral standing could pose a detrimental effect in the economy and the welfare of our women, children and family. Okay, enough ranting! I'm going off from the main topic - as I always do! *facepalm* Bottom line is, I have one more paper to finish, and I quote a wonderful paragraph from the article:

The church has a right to defend itself against exaggerations of its historical and contemporary evils but we think it would be better off owning up to its terrible departures from the way of Christ, or even simple human kindness, and getting busier embodying what it claims to believe. Nothing else will change hearts and minds. Nothing else will do. Defending the faith means embodying the faith. Living the faith. Doing the faith.

Published to Blogblogan Tayo!

How Environmental Science Disillusioned my Earth Hour Hulabaloo!

2010-03-27T14:50:00.001+08:00

I participated the Earth Hour Celebration last year, and even blogged about it.

This year, as a first year - going on second year, hopefully, Lord, please! - Environmental Science Postgrad student, I have learned that my personal participation in the Earth Hour does not really help saving the Earth from anything at all.

Sure, last year I was all: I hope my thirty-minute participation could spare the planet a microsecond from distraction, or something...

But this year, I'm all: *eyeroll* Psh! I'm the world's number one chainsmoker of the week, the number one-millionth unsustainable individual of all time. An hour of shutting off my lights, my TV, my PC, except my ref, won't save the Planet from utter drowning from population overload - which is the root of all environmental, economic, social, political problems.

For one, NAPOCOR would still supply the same energy from their plant to my house, so even if I switch everything off for an hour, I still consumed the same amount of coal or energy or destroyed the same number of species diversity for the construction and operation of the NAPOCOR plant and all of its transmission.

So, rather than taking in all the bites of all disease-infested mosquitoes and persecuting myself with the unbearable summer heat and urban island heat, why not just turn on my laptop and my fan and enjoy one-hour of watching the one-hour Naruto special about Jiraiya's death?!

The point being: Earth Hour's just a fad. A freakishly hypocritical fad if I would never get myself to commit reducing my energy consumption for a YEAR and beyond, and not just for an hour. I'd rather not participate if I continue to depend on tobacco to keep me awake during odd hours and at 12 o'clock noon!

I'd rather not participate if I can't do anything about stupid horny couples banging around to get this planet overcrowded with malnourished babies and unsustainable individuals and STD's.

That being said, I ask myself why doing a pessimistic blog about the environment is so frigging easy than doing a review paper with almost the same concept? Ngrsh!

And that being said, I conclude that I am an Environmental Science student, and I am freakishly living an unsustainable life. And help me god if I graduated *o please, o please...* with MS suffixing my name and I'd still be that much unsustainable as I do now.

Faith Jessica M. Paran, MS --> looks good, ne?

Posted in Blogblogan Tayo!

EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOOD
Join me

What do Amungan and Ayashi no Ceres have in common?

2009-07-29T20:30:00.001+08:00

In my pursuit to find a yet another manga to read during my long hours at work, I decided to try reading Ayashi no Ceres, where the anime Ayashi no Ceres *doy* was based.

And did you know that the story was pattern, well loosely, to Japan's famous legend "Tennyo no Hagoromo"? It is about a Tennyo (celestial maiden) who was stuck on earth because a young man stole her hagoromo (robe worn by a tennyo) while the group of Tennyo were bathing in a pond. Sounds familiar, isn't it? It’s very, very similar to the Swan Maiden legend in the Cordillera *I forgot the local term for it, sorry, but I think the title was The Maiden Who Lost Her Wings, and I think it was an Ibaloi tale*. The Tennyo was forced to live with the man who stole her robe, married the man, and they had babies. And like how the Cordi tale ended, the Tennyo finally found her Hagoromo and returned back to the skies.

The only difference was that the Tennyo vowed revenge to her husband. In the Ibaloi tale, she fell in love with the man, and promised to watch over her family from the stars.

So, what’s the deal with Amungan? Amungan is a yearly project of UP Baguio’s Indigenous People-based organization PAGTA, who made a theatrical production last 2007 which featured the Swan Maiden story arc. *shrugs* I just want to make a connection between my new now-reading-manga and the Amungan to which I was actively participating during my college years. And also, this is in line with the current situation of the Program for Indigenous Culture nearing its, uh, life line? *Haha… but seriously, this isn’t a funny matter…*

Anyway, my point, exactly? That our culture, again, is closely knit with other cultures around the world. And, it’s the end of the month, and I’d just like to post a new blog entry.

Blogger’s Note: Again, Kelangan talagang may political view, noh?

Published to Blogblogan Tayo!

a minute to remember the 1990 killer quake

2009-07-16T12:05:00.003+08:00

At exactly 3:26 pm, 19 years ago, Baguio was devastated by what is now known as the 1990 Killer Quake that crippled the city for years, and still brings pain to some (or probably most) who lost so much that day. Although i can only remember waking up from an afternoon nap by shakes and our kasambahay's shrieks, and all I knew was that July 16,1990 was my mother's birthday, i remember how the City was drastically changed by the tragedy. Now, the City has progressed much, leaving no trace of the earth's tremors. And though its people just want to forget what happened that day, and move on from it, i think it's still nice to just offer a minute and look back, and just offer a small prayer to the loss that the City lost, and a prayer of thanks to what the City has gained since then. Let Baguio Cathedral's bells ring in commemoration of the City's resilience. Published to Blogblogan Tayo!

Why I Prefer Hard Copies than Ebooks

2009-07-13T19:51:00.000+08:00

I am trying to study for my upcoming exam but i really cannot concentrate because i have to type down all the important points. Almost all, no erase that, all of our readings and even books are in .pdf format. And my notes all are typed in a notepad.

I mean, how can you take note of the probability of A given B without having to type P[A|B] over and over again. Writing it down can only take less than a microsecond *OA?*

Times are changing - very rapidly. Even the art of book-reading has switched to digital. Or am i just too old for the change *I THINK NOT!!!*?

Gone are the days when i enjoyed scribbling lines and circles down my notebook. Gone are the days when i annotate between the lines and margins of my readings. Gone are the days of colorful pages painted with neon-colored highlighters.

Are notebooks soon to be a thing of the past? Will hard copied books be a collector's item (if this will be so, then i'd be rich before i could even reach 40)?

Will i no longer experience sheer happiness of just smelling newly opened books, or sniffing the pages of old books hidden in the farthest part of my grandmother's closet, or inhaling the aroma of photo-copied readings?

I say no. I won't let book publication die. No to the Philippine Book Tariff. Books should be customer-free. The fight to keep all books free of customs duty is not over yet.

Blogger's Note: Looks like the last paragraph's a bit OOC (out of context). Kelangan talagang may political view, noh? Published to Blogblogan Tayo!

Of Kitsune and Dwendes

2009-07-12T17:28:00.003+08:00

Kitsune no Yomeiri. Did you know that the Japanese people believe that sunshowers, or when it rains on a sunny day, that the fox spirit or kitsune takes a bride? It's amazing how their beliefs are almost similar with us. From childhood, we would think that a dwende is getting married when sunshowers occur. I learned about this kitsune while reading xxxHolic just a moment ago, and Yuuko explained the reasons for odd rains while the sun is out. And, like any science student, i researched more on it to see if this isn't just CLAMP's (xxxHolic's amazing writers) imaginary creation. I stumbled on this ebook at Google Books, and there was a whole chapter about Kitsune. There it is Kitsune-no-Yomeiri (fox's wedding). During such drizzles, "a fox bride is going through the woods to the house of her fox groom." So, another piece of knowledge, and another piece of cultural inter-connectedness. Blogger's note: The blogger has posted two logs in one shift. Too much for one day, for her that is. There's nothing to do at work but just ramble; thus two logs in one sitting... *hyuuuu* (Fay D. Flourite attempting a whistle)

EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOOD Join me

Panata

2009-07-12T12:32:00.002+08:00

I made a promise with myself and with Mother Earth, with gods as my witnesses. This is in preparation for my future endeavors as an active activist promoting Environmental Awareness, Biodiversity, Toxicity Elimination through Plant Hyperaccumulation. Ha! Beat that, Al Gore... I was having my usual soul searchings *ack* at The Loop when i noticed the place was so full of cigarette butts and other trash than normal. Now, since smoking - which contributes to the ozone layer depletion, carbon dioxide/monoxide *whatever* addition, disease spreads, et cetera, et cetera - is unavoidable - not that i'm addicted to it, don't get me wrong... it's just that smoking gets me through boring fifteen-minute breaks and lunch breaks - i vow to throw my consumed cigarette sticks to the trash can - at all times. [...] So. Help. Me. God.

This entry was composed and published to my already deleted Windows Live Spaces several months ago. Also, during those times when i was painfully waiting for the results for my Master's application to the Institute of Environmental Science and Meteorology, i made a silent prayer ever thirty minutes, which goes like this:

Dear God,

Matanggap lang ako sa IESM, promise aalagaan ko ang environment na ginawa mo, at promise, di na ko mag-yoyosi.

But only an hour ago, i took my long-awaited break and puffed one stick - breaking two self-made panatas and mocking two promises to God. Are these broken promises the reasons why i am having a bad time with my Environmental Statistics and Analysis course? Is this karma? Is this Mother Nature's funny payback time?

Will i ever find a way to get past my break times without puffing a stick? Or will i just be having a new prayer by the end of this semester - or during the dropping period ? Will there be another negotiation made with God? Abangan... So. Help. Me. God. (published to Blogblogan Tayo!)

EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOOD Join me

Symptoms of a Bad Telenovela

2009-07-11T15:41:00.006+08:00

For someone who has been watching cable TV shows all her life and is deprived of this luxury for almost two years, Philippine telenovelas would look weird at first, entertaining second, and downright puke-inducing after two or three overrated, overdramatic and unrealistic catfights. I have listed a few reasons why the Philippine mainstream entertainment is considered D-rated. 1. Uber-twisted family tree example: girl and boy have fallen in love with one another and as the story deepens, it’s revealed that boy and girl are siblings. But as the story deepens even more - believe me, with Filipinos’ creativity they can create too many twists and still give a farcical idea of a good story - the boy/girl turns out to be adopted. So, as the story ends, the boy and the girl lived happily ever after - with more unbelievable twists that I'll discuss later on. 2. Ridiculous childhood-to-adulthood love affairs I don’t have to elaborate. It’s just ridiculous. 3. Wedding plots Isn’t it amazing that Filipinos consider marriage as super sacred and super special that every telenovela I know ends in happy matrimony. Okay, it’s not all too happy, but a few kinks weeks, or even minutes, before the matrimonial march. Awww… what a cheesy way to end a story. I’ll never get tired of it… *eyeroll* 4. Wedding drama No, I'm not referring to the clichés of Filipino weddings, i.e. long walks down the aisle, teary-eyed father of the bride, touchy vows and whatnot. I am pertaining to the abovementioned kinks before the wedding. Think upstaging old girlfriends shouting the ever classic "ITIGIL ANG KASAL!", or worse: kidnapped bride that would later be rescued by the worried groom. But of course, before the rescue, tatagas muna ang balde-baldeng dugo. But don’t fret! Nobody will die. The groom may lose 3/4 of his body blood, or his intestines may be blasted from several gunshots, he will miraculously survive. Money-back-guarantee offered here. 5. Babangon ako at dudurugin kita mantras This is why most people wouldn’t agree with revolutions. People belonging to the lowest part of the social triangle would never fail to do the oppressing once they were promoted to the upper portions of the triangle. 6. Sensationalized Poverty This is actually funny. The protagonists are super poor at the beginning of the story, but soon, as in super soon, they will be super rich. Makes sense, though. How will the story get a happy ending when the bida won’t end up rich? That’s it, I guess. If i continue counting, Philippines might not have a quality telenovela left. Don’t even get me started with Fantaseryes.

Dear Wentworth

2009-07-11T12:11:00.004+08:00

You know i liked you and all, but you need to get to the gym ASAP. You look like Frodo Baggins as a man...

one photo a day

2009-07-08T22:15:00.005+08:00

Burnham Lake shimmering in the afternoon sun. There goes my childhood.

Baguio Centennial: 95 Days to Go

2009-05-29T23:58:00.004+08:00

Baguio Boy Photographer Einosuke Rudy Furuya has started counting the days down until Baguio City's Centennial Celebration three years ago. SM City Baguio is showcasing his photographs of numbers 1 to 100 taken from all over the City. Keeping Count… Homing In… is exhibited at the lower basement of the mall until June 2009.

Blogger’s Note: The above pictures, despite Blogger’s name watermarked, are properties of Mr. Rudy Furuya. The Blogger only photographed Mr. Furuya’s exhibits using her own camera for mere appreciation and awe of the work and concept, and for the purpose of sharing this experience to the Cyberworld.

Reminiscing Recital Days

2009-05-29T23:18:00.004+08:00

The Baguio Musar Music held their 5th Summer Recitals at the Atrium of SM City Baguio yesterday, 28 May 2009. Sure, the event may be a bit disorganized: the stage was too small; the sound system was sloppy at times that you could either barely hear the recitalist’s piece, or the instrument’s too loud that the amplifiers give off that irritating loud sound; the program flow was interrupted several times because of the sound system, or because the recitalist was not yet present. But despite these all, I enjoyed the parts of the recital that I was able to watch. It made me miss playing the piano, rehearsing for the recitals, dressing up for the recitals, performing on stage like I always felt like I was on the actual orchestra playing for the ballet group I watched perform at the Cultural Center of the Philippines when I was so young and a year before I first learned to play the piano.

I think I was in Grade 5 when I started playing the piano. I’m not really good at it, and I was always lazy polishing my pieces, but I continued enrolling at Musar until I reached Piano 2. I also joined the Annual Recital Competition for three years. Our recitals were a lot different than yesterday’s. I don’t know if the School continued doing it, but the event was usually held at a grand stage – my last recital was at the SLU CCA building – the recitalists really put on their best dresses, there were judges to pick out the best performers, and the atmosphere really felt special, like an international music competition.

My last recital performance was a flop. I played Happy Fingers from someone, and I played it all wrong. Well, the first part was fine, until the part where the notes were a bit similar to the first lines that I mistakenly repeated playing the first lines. I continued with it, but I suddenly forgot the next note. Panicked, my fingers started losing the moderato and pressing two keys at the same time instead. I couldn’t wait for the piece to end. And when it did, I went straight to the backstage without even bowing to the audience. It was so bad I kept wishing my teacher wasn’t there. I knew it was my fault why the performance turned to a disaster. I haven’t been practicing enough. At our Recital practice, I came in late so I wasn’t able to play at the Kawai Piano that will be used for the program. My teacher told me to be at the Recital venue an hour early so I can at least familiarize myself with the instrument. But, again, I didn’t – blame it on the Panagbenga parade that caused the annual Baguio Total Traffic Jam.

I felt so embarrassed not for myself, but for my teacher. The judges were prominent ones, the best in the country – not best-best as in Cayabyab best. Our stern but poised directress was also there, and it would be a bad reflection for the teacher if the pupil did not perform well. We were given months to practice that one piece, and we were screened for the Recital. Anyway, i quit playing the piano. I finished my last two classes and didn’t enroll for another 12 sessions. Ever. And I regretted doing that. Now I missed playing it, now that I saw my old keyboard and tried playing old pieces last Wednesday when I arrived from Manila. Much more when I watched little kids sit on the piano seat and played for the audience.

Anyway, below are some of the pictures I took from the Summer Recital. The Musar Orchestra’s performance was still the best. I loved watching them on Recitals. Enjoy.

The Musar Violin Ensemble

I Pledge Allegiance to the Philippine Flag

2009-05-29T23:14:00.000+08:00

Lolo Art, Lola Natz and I had lunch at Don Henrico’s SM Baguio. It wasn’t the best Don Hen experience, but let’s save that for a different blog entry. Anyway, we were waiting for our change and our tira (left-over) take-out when suddenly Lolo called the waiter. He said: “Dapat nasa right ung blue at left ung red. Kasi pag ganyan, ibig sabihin may gulo.” (The color blue should be on the right side and the red should be on the left. Otherwise, that would mean disorder.) I didn’t get what Lolo meant, so I turned around and I saw the Don Henrico staff displaying two Philippine flags on their glass door entrance. I just laughed. I thought that they may just be basing the flag arrangement on their rights and lefts. Gladly, they fixed it.

Later, as Klarisse and I were going around, I noticed that the mall was prepping up for an Araw ng Kalayaan (Independence Day) mood. Most of the stalls have Philippine flags on their display windows. Funny, but that may be their way of commemorating the day. Well, at least they were putting up something that pays tribute to the special event, right? I mean, I myself wouldn’t be doing anything to respect Independence Day, as far as I know. I will be at my Lola Fely’s house celebrating my Tita Lib’s birthday on 12 June.

Moving on, as we were on our way to National Book Store, I noticed this:

The top looks neat, the shorts has the right red color, the belt looked cheap but it complemented the whole outfit, the scarf’s totally out-of-place (the mannequin looked like it’s going to the beach, unless I mistook the scarf for a towel.), but the flag! Look at the flag! Lolo should have seen this. I bet he wouldn’t tolerate this kind of disrespect. Again, I just laughed and shared the joke to Klarisse.

We continued strolling, and take a look at what we have further witnessed:

Klarisse said that I may have mixed the flag etiquette rules up, and I could be incorrect about this. I have considered that. But I argued and insisted that I also remember my high school PEHM (Physical Education, Health and Music) teacher telling us that the blue side of the flag should always be on top or, if displayed vertically, on the right. And, my Lolo, though not a war veteran, knows this not only because he’s old and they were taught hardcore patriotism back in his days, but also because, um, he’s old and they were taught hardcore patriotism back in his days.

It’s good that they have been decorating their stores for the most important date in the history of the Republic of the Philippines – technically speaking for the benefit of this blog; let’s not take this intellectually and dissect our table of events and pick out the most important date in history. But this is embarrassing, and hilarious, and somewhat true.

It is true that the country is experiencing war and disorder. We are in the time where democracy is about to end, politicians are bickering among themselves, the elections are coming, and Her Excellency Madam President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is still occupying the highest seat in the land. War, indeed.

Going to Baguio?

2009-05-25T17:09:00.003+08:00

I'll be going home to Baguio this Wednesday, and the streets better be free of mountain-high garbage. I will not tolerate a 3-month old garbage pile blocking every pavement I walk on. Anyway, only few things excite me every time I go back up there: going home to our homey home in Bengao (ok, i get a few laughs from friends whenever i say this word...), friends, and my little bed. Visiting the town proper doesn't appeal to me as much as it does to others - sure, i've been living in the city for 19 years... When I hear people bragging that they'll be going up to Baguio, i just give them a quizzical look, a hidden eye roll, and a question: "Ano naman gagawin mo dun?" (What are you going to do there?). Really. Having been to every possible place in the City, I couldn't find anything that I'd be excited to go back to. But, if times were fifteen years back, I could give a list of the 10 BEST PLACES IN BAGUIO in a blink - maybe because I was six years old then, and I was such a kid I consider every little thing the best of its kind. But the situation's different, and through time, the City grew with me. It's too congested, it's too hot (too hot for the old Baguio I used to know), it's too urban-y, and the residents are glorifying when a dump truck is visiting them. The main reasons people go there are because of the cool weather and the pine trees. And Baguio should find a way to conserve these reasons. Baguio shouldn't just be about the Panagbenga Festival, which showcases Cordillera in a monetary and commercialized perspective. Nor should it be about the SM City Baguio that excursionists would visit first when traveling to the City.

It should be about its people, the great Igorots - and I'm not only referring to the Igorots that tourists take pictures with at the Botanical Garden; it should be about its rich culture that uneducated people has long been overlooked and mis-conceptualized - this goes to the media and Candy Pangilinan. And lastly, Baguio should be about its proud residents that seems to be declining in numbers as time increases. Don't get me wrong, the number of residents are growing, but those who are proud of the City? It doesn't really grow with the numbers of the former. And, sadly, that includes me. Which is why I am making a vow that, as a citizen of Baguio and in counting the days until my City turns 100, I will be uplifting Baguio's name from the ruins of the Irisan dumpsite. First assignment: 10 BEST PLACES IN BAGUIO. I'll be going to these 10 places I consider best when I go home. I'll include an itinerary for perspective tourists. So. Help. Me. God.

EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOOD Join me

One Step Ahead of Trumping Al Gore

2009-05-25T15:56:00.002+08:00

This just in: After two years of stagnant life, two years of planning my whole life, months of preparing my Master's Degree application, weeks of waiting, days of knowing the unknown and days of almost sinking into depression (dramatic, isn't it?), I have finally been admitted to the Institute of Environmental Science and Meteorology for my Master's Degree in Environmental Science next semester. And the Graduate Office told me that I can now get my admission slip now moving forward. What a way to end my day... I can die tomorrow. Wait, hold that thought... I can't...

EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOOD Join me

Dear “Nicole”

2009-04-24T21:21:00.000+08:00

it breaks my heart to think how your fight ended in tragedy, at least it’s tragedy for me.

you stepped up from that dark alley, naked

walked across the stand, naked

raped again and again in public,

humiliated, naked

you were doubted, looked down on and was even branded as a disgrace of your own sex.

but you struggled, naked,

face down, but fighting.

you did win – in a way, but the battle never ended the way Justice says it should.

Smith was never imprisoned, nor has the doubts ever left the people.

your life never went back to normal, nor will it ever be.

i was crushed when you sent that letter to everyone.

it was heartbreaking.

i was praying that you never meant those words

that you never went to the States, for good

that there should be a conspiracy at play.

i even doubted you myself

even after the years that i have fought with you,

along with all the women who believe in what you are fighting for.

but i just closed my eyes and tried fitting my foot in your shoe,

but i can’t – i never will.

i’ve never been in one shoe like yours,

i’ve never walked the streets with cloth on my face,

i’ve never tried to persuade the nation that i was saying the truth,

i never even tried to elevate myself from being a victim to a feisty survivor

but you did.

and you must be darn tired.

you may have given up on the justice system you are forever clinging to which could hopefully erase the devils of the past.

yes, that must be it.

sometimes, i think i should also wake up and wash my face with reality that this no longer is the time of King Arthur or Rizal.

or not.

but yeah.

you must be so tired

you have lost your life at such a young age

in such a gruesome manner

you have lost all the pieces you wanted to put together

you have no pedestal to step on

you’re still as lost as you were that brutal night.

it’s still sad

but maybe it’s good that you retire

leave it to us and to all the “Nicoles” that are still struggling to get their gagged mouth undone and their limbs unchained.

what’s left for you to do is to show us that despite having the world question you more

despite freeing Smith from all the charges against him

and despite making your case a mockery of every violence done against every woman – and humanity as a whole – every minute

show us that you can still look for your shattered pieces and get them all glued in one big piece.

i know that it may not end perfectly, but at least you’d re-create a piece that’ll stand as a symbol for every fighting woman.

Blogger’s Note: 24 April 2009, Daniel Smith, accused of raping “Nicole” last 2006, was freed of all charges and was confirmed to have left the country after “Nicole” has retracted her affidavit that found Smith guilty beyond unreasonable doubt.

Earth Day Quackery

2009-03-30T19:37:00.000+08:00

Time: 20:30

It’s 08:30 and I suppose half – if not all – of the Philippines is already basking in pitch black darkness. Oh, wait, make it 75% to account for the places that do not have electricity.

I am at the veranda of my new apartment since it’s too dark and scary inside – not to mention hot since i have also unplugged the electric fan (the only thing that’s on is our refrigerator).

Here in Tandang Sora, Quezon City, my neighbors seem unaware of the global celebration, neither do they realize the impact of turning off their lights for just an hour. In fact, i just saw someone throwing a bag of garbage in front of our apartment building. So much for Earth Day, huh? Even I puffed six sticks of cigarette during my 8-hour shift, contributing to the ever growing envelope of carbon monoxide. So much for global warming.

The hypocrisy is everywhere, and it’s even reeking out of my system. Turning the lights out for an hour can only do so much. We may participate with the world’s celebration, but after the hour, we go back to our old ways – abusing our natural resources like we have plenty enough to last ten generations.

Funny, right?

Even I, a self-pledged environmentalist, couldn’t look away from a GMO’d rice and fat GMO’d chicken served on a large Styrofoam. Even i couldn't stop puffing during break time to spare the planet from the pollution, however small it is, I am emitting. Even I couldn’t wait for the hour to end so I could get back inside and review for the Civil Service exam and get away from these pesky mosquitoes drinking my blood.

So much for Earth Hour, indeed. But with have the world joining me on this withdrawal from electricity and TV, maybe we could really get ourselves another day away from mass extinction and hellish temperature on Earth.

The night sky’s dark, the smog’s illuminating a red haze, the stars are visible enough, and the moon’s posing just a thin line of a smile. Maybe I could be doing so much, for the better.

Blogger’s Note: Unfortunately, the blogger wasn’t able to finish Earth Hour. 21:00, her roommate came home and opened the lights and just rolled her eyes at her (the blogger). The blogger tried to persuade the roommate to participate in the event, arguing that she only had to endure 30 minutes. Sadly, the persuasion didn’t sink in and the blogger could only do so much. The blogger hoped her 30-minute contribution saved the world for even half a second.

Canaoay is pronounced as CANaoay and not caNAoay… just so La Union people wouldn’t laugh at you…

2009-03-09T07:36:00.002+08:00

It started as a plan to hike Pulag, but since plans don’t go as planned more often than not, we decided to hit the beach instead.

There we were, on the afternoon of 07 March 2009, planned to check in at the Sunset Bay Beach Resort in West Canaoay, La Union, but there were no available rooms. We ended up at the Blue Lagoon, just a few strides away from the former. But of course, it was tiring with all the baggage we had.

And that day was just super. I was at three different places all in the same day – well, K-ann, Karah and I. At 1 am, from Cubao, we took the bus to Baguio. At 7am, we arrived the cold city. By 4pm, we were asking a gulay vendor how to get to Canaoay from the plaza of San Fernando. Yes, it was tiring indeed, but that didn’t keep us from moving around the unfamiliar place to look for a requested lechon manok at liempo, chasing sunsets and staying up late trying to consume my home-made Bailey’s and K-ann’s Calpol-flavored juicy GSM Blue but failed.

The next day, 08 March, International Women’s Day, off we went to some white-sanded beach at Poro Point. It wasn’t really white sand, but pebbles so tiny Kryssa thought that her hands were like buchis when covered with the sand. We couldn’t swim much since the beach was covered with sea grass, sea weeds and rocks. So we just took so many pictures, and eat breakfast, and play around with the pebbles, and bury Kryssa and Karah on the sand, and pick up true colored pebbles, pretty pebbles, and pebbles with holes in the middle. Then we went back to the resort as we have already extended our supposed 1-hour trip to the white-sanded beach.

We should be going somewhere near where Kryssa and Kang saw our Korean neighbor snorkeling. We tried going there but we gave up since the beach was too rocky. I was scared to walk further as I might step on some sea urchin. I wouldn’t want to soak my feet on someone else’s urine – or mine – like when I had my toes decorated with urchin spines at Pagudpod, Ilocos Norte.

So, we just went somewhere else, but we were only playing with the waves a meter or two away from the shore since rocks were every where a few steps further. It was still fun. The water was inviting when the sun was noon-high, the waves kept coming with good heights – but not surfing heights – and our faces tasted like sun block lotion with salt.

After that, we prepared our lunch. The preparation was really tedious. Since we don’t know how to ihaw the talongs, we just placed it directly over the butane flame of Kryssa’s mini cooking set. Definitely there was one worm on one of the eggplants and Kryssa and Lei even took a picture of it. But I must say I enjoyed the food that I was able to clean up our plates and left no left-over.

We did maximize our stay at the hotel and we checked-out at 3pm. Come to think of it, the time went by so fast that I hated it since it means, I will be going back to Manila soon.

Urban Zen

2009-02-13T16:39:00.000+08:00

There’s never been a perfect place to capture sunset but in a booming city nesting at the Cordilleran mountains. Oh, ok, there are a dozen of places i can enumerate that gives you breath-taking sunsets. But just look at the pictures i took last Christmas… The weather’s fine, the wind’s chilly, the sun’s giving its last peeks in a way that made me feel like I'm a photog who deserves a Pulitzer.

Fine! i admit there has been a teensy adjustment made to make my pictures look like it was shot by a high-end DSLR. But all I did was just sharpening the images, a little color pop, and dash of creativity…. and besides, who doesn’t use photo-enhancing software nowadays? Even Vanity Fair doctored a photograph of Heath Ledger who was promoting Brokeback then, and merged it with a picture of The Dark Night’s director Chris Nolan to give us all the impression that the two posed for 2009’s series of Red Carpets.

Technically, I'm not cheating. Think of it as an operation of a runway Barbie previously clad in cholesterol after a “gastric bypass” aka liposuction for conservatives.

Courtesy of Windows Live Writer and Windows Live Photo Gallery, i present you Baguio City, who wasn’t draped in tapis cloth but in rich crimson red, gold and more colors i cannot name.

Just looking at these pictures relaxes you. Although, not much for me… photo-editing’s not really as easy as it seems – and my neck’s hurting bad. As i was saying, it does, right? Despite the warm colors projected. If you’ve been to Baguio, you’ll be amazed at how its modernity compliments the remaining nature surrounding it. Well, at first look, that is. As you look closely, through your camera lens or just plain corneas, the city still follows the urban trend, and the nature it has known all its existence sets gradually with the sun. Tragic? But true, nonetheless.

Hey, i don’t want to ruin the picture here – no pun intended – but composing this blog entry made me realize how i can make my pictures scream both beauty and reality.

As a Biology graduate, i have internalized and breathed the meaning of the statement “All things are connected.” I know how a badly-conducted tree planting activity can ruin the natural course of plants and animals. I know how mining can boost the economy and how it can compromise the lives of every living and non-living thing not only in that mining community but in the whole world. I know how my fast food spaghetti can kill pawikans (sea turtles) that our seas have been trying to protect. And i know how Baguio contributes to the irreversible effects of all environmental problems there is and ever will be.

No long essays needed. The photos are proof in pixels of the beauty we have been overlooking even before the Internet became the most important means of communication in the city – well, at least in my opinion. And if you bother to zoom in, you won’t miss the daily pile-ups of garbage stacking up as high as Quirino Hill. You’d wish you could look away, but, god, they’re everywhere. I wonder whether Google Earth now has a satellite image of Session Road with black patches here and there, which are not tile mosaics that Kidlat and friends have used to decorate the chipping streets .

Okay, so there’s not much to tell that hasn’t already been said. Everything i’ve blogged today is cliché – ish. yes, yes, environmental issues are soooo overrated. i can even rant all three million words and just put a sock in it with one puff. But i raise my stick to the City Government of Baguio for putting the pine trees first and closing the deal in turning the GSIS forest into a sky rise condo for snotty lowlanders – at least that was the latest news i know.

Hey, i got sick and failed my 1st long exam for my second take in Calculus just trying to measure the distance between trees, the circum-chacallits, and, wait for it, the height of each pine trees, until our class completed a blue print of the much-preserved pine trees in the said area. I won’t let those collective efforts be all for nothing. And it wouldn’t be possible without the voices aired by the concerned people of Baguio City. You do know better now than let another pine tree bleed.

But Baguio’s still too problematic to rejoice in the reclamation of such a small land as compared to the hectares and hectares of land and trees spoiled in the Camp John Hay and various subdivisions springing all around the city and its periphery.

Baguio needs to step up and save the remaining picture-perfect places for me to eternalize in pixels as soon as i get my own new DSLR – and of course, before we still have time…………………………………………….. …………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..
…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..

Urban Zen

2009-02-10T00:59:00.001+08:00

Technically, I'm not cheating. Think of it as an operation of a runway Barbie previously clad in cholesterol after a “gastric bypass” aka liposuction for conservatives.

Courtesy of Windows Live Writer and Windows Live Photo Gallery, i present you Baguio City, who wasn’t draped in tapis cloth but in rich crimson red, gold and more colors i cannot name.

Hey, i don’t want to ruin the picture here – no pun intended – but composing this blog entry made me realize how i can make my pictures scream both beauty and reality.

But Baguio’s still too problematic to rejoice in the reclamation of such a small land as compared to the hectares and hectares of land and trees spoiled in the Camp John Hay and various subdivisions springing all around the city and its periphery.

Baguio needs to step up and save the remaining picture-perfect places for me to eternalize in pixels as soon as i get my own new DSLR – and of course, before we still have time…………………………………………….. …………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..

…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..…………………………………………..

An Ode to Ms. Francesca Lia Block's "Psyche in a Dress"

2008-12-07T13:35:00.001+08:00

dear Psyche,

why do you doubt so much?
you have found your Eros whilst surviving an
unusual childhood
filled with broken mannequins
and bare breasts
and flighty Demeters

you have been sang with lyrical myths
night after night
with voice as large and soothing as the sea
only to let your Eros flee
burning in hot candle wax

why doubt, Psyche?
do you doubt Love
or just your self?
and when Love flees
you'd go looking for it
in a pool of white flowers;

lose yourself in Orpheus' hymns,
whose Love he doubted
whose head was cut
whose Love was lost;

give your heart out to Hades himself
only to find Eros in you
only to find Him speeding back to you.

Live, Psyche.
You can't doubt so much.
Live for Joy and Love
and find Peace that no gods can give.

EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOOD
Join me

soundtrack of the day

2008-12-07T12:19:00.001+08:00

"Vienna"
the fray

The day's last one-way ticket train pulls in
We smile for the casual closure capturing
There goes the downpour
There goes my fare thee well

There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone

There's so many words that we can say
Spoken upon long-distance melody
This is my hello
This is my goodness

There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone

Maybe in five or ten yours and mine will meet again
Straighten this whole thing out
Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy
But this is the distance
And this is my gameface

There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
Is there really no way to reach me?
Am I already gone?
So this is your maverick
And this is Vienna

EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOOD
Join me

Angsty Vamps!

2008-11-27T18:39:00.000+08:00

i just watched Twilight yesterday without having to rub my skin against other movie-goers, and with my feet languorously resting on a head rest infromt of me. and that's a good thing, right? yes, well, i'm not sure though if i did like the movie or not... fine, it was okay, but some points need to be pointed out - in chronological order, just so i'd point everything out orderly... i never realized until the movie that Twilight indeed is High School Musical 1-3 in Goth. YOu know, high school kids reeking of angst and moodswings - sans the creepy high-pitched gay boys... okay, bella was angsty, and moody, and whiny, and pathetic in the book but i didn't realize Edward didn't know how to laugh either? I know, right? their smiles were the most MIA in the whole movie! all my fave parts where i laughed so hard because of dry sarcasm were all missing because either Kristen Stewart was so busy frowning or Rob Pattinson was just so anti-social. I think he did internalized too much on Edward's 90+ years of solitude. The only time i saw Bella or Edward really smiling was when Edward was wearing that pair of glasses that totally complimented his face, when Edward and Emmett was goofing around during that baseball game, when Bella was cleaning her pick-up and edward jumped on her truck... when.. when... i don't think there were more smiling faces there. Gods, they ARE moody vamps - PMSing the whole eternity. What else? Oh yeah! I am too much of an Anne Rice that sparkly vampires don't entertain me at all. I told you vampires don't sparkle! They die in the sun like all other vampires... even Rob's CGI didn't pull that trick off... He looks like he's just sweaing so badly... ew... and it wasn't beautiful, bella! but, hey... i love, love that piano scene... it was so simple... so serene... and the place? god, i felt like i was transported back to Baguio, or even better, to Mt. Pulag... Esme's so pretty... i've been missing her from Grey's... Rob's does know how to play the piano... and his voice does sounds like Jeff Buckley... Too bad the soundtracks were only played that short... i hardly heard decode! and bella's look after James bit him looked so familiar, doesn't it? Good thing Kristen Stewart did Panic Room... fits that scene well... Overall, i do love Kristen... she really is good... too bad Bella has to be so angsty, i didn't get much of her smile... no wonder it felt like Twilight's not Kristen's fave movie to participate in... she has been frowning in almost every interview i saw... And jacob? ugh! i don't even know where to start.. anyway, i love the movie, still.. and i cannot wait for New Moon... i just hope they do stick to the book and would just show edward in Italy... it'll add up to the drama...

blogger

2008-11-08T15:41:00.001+08:00

trying blogger

EMAILING FOR THE GREATER GOOD
Join me

Breeaking up with guilty pleasures

2008-11-08T14:48:00.003+08:00

dear prison break,

remember three months ago? i started watching you. you toured me around Joliet Prison, showed me how Mafia people cut new cons' toes and slit pedophiliac necks, introduced me to pathetic and klepto jail guards.

it was not so typical a first date, but it was so much fun. remember the execution room? the riot? the rooftop? english, fritz, percy? remember?

how you and i escaped that prison with all my limbs intact but my blood pressure so high i could get a heart attack at 21? remember?

everything was still fresh. the pretty lady doctor almost died from morphine overdose and i hated the idea that she might be killed off.

but you led me to a life on the run, made me witness Terrence Steadman's, the vice president's brother, death and how Mr. Kellerman turned his back from the dark side.

we both had our own shares of rendezvous and tran chase. then after a few long, long days of running, we slipped into the sunset that was Panama...

i thought it would have ended there - sailing on the Canal, driving Christina Rose, scuba diving in the blue Panama Canal. but no.

like one prison wasn't enough, you even have to make me experience the sweaty, dirty life in the SONA. i told you that if Sara Tancredi would go, i'll go with her.

you did let her go, chopped her head off and put it in a box for Linc and i to see. You made LJ, Michael and i think she was really dead. i vowed that i will never have to see you because of this. but you made me stay.

i would have loved to go, but every cell in me couldn't take its nucleus off you. it was like an ultimate guilty pleasure. it really was. we tried to escape twice, watched Mike fight Whistler for Sara. I would have done that myself, but you told me it was just a plan.

so we went on, digging prison undergrounds, killing off undeserving cons and planning the best prison break ever.

it was historical. genius.

i knew that i haven't seen the last of it yet - not even close. so i decided to stay. i waited until fall so i could see how Michael avenged my Sara, only to find that Gretchen put up a play - yet again.

it was glorious. seeing her wait for Michael as his car pulled over the garage, opened her door and finally staring at her traumatized eyes. you did promised me that.

and you have promised me a whole new one. you told me we would eventually stop running and bring down the Company. i was hopeful.

now i was watching with you as they outwit Wyatt while he has been on his killing spree. so far, i am liking it.

Sara's back, the gang's back, the Conmpany's close to its destruction, Prison Break nearing its denouma. but it's not you.

it's me. i know you said this is a whole new season. that it wouldn't work if we keep on going back to every prison in the world. i understand that - really, i do.

but i must have been missing the adrenaline rush that you have given me three seasons back.

i know, i have only seen a couple episodes, yet i couldn't help but sigh.

i think it would be good for both of us to stay away for a while.

don't get me wrong. i would still be watching you - and who knows what kind of hell i'd have to do just to be able to do so.

i'll skip work, leave work, stay home just to watch you. but i may just be watching you from afar.

it would be for the best. i promise i wouldn't google you, search for you, read all about you.

but i'll still be there in front of my TV running with you. and whatever the-ends you would think of, i'll respect that.

i know i'd still love it, you can give Michael a bucket full of nosebleeds, i'd still love it.

you can kill Sara off again - which i hope you wouldn't - it's all fine. i know it would be for the better,

and i know you can pull it off and redeem your glory. our glory.

so, i guess i'd have to see you and write you again once Prison Break has reached its permanent hiatus.

Riddling On

2008-05-08T14:02:00.001+08:00

Simple, simple, simple words. The wind keeps blowing but no one hears. The kitten keeps purring hungrily but no one listens. The shadow passes back and forth the window sill but no one notices. Simple words... Jumbled yet clear yet no one deems. A handful of fireflies but does not lit. Several octaves but could not jive. Papers and pens but do not fight. Some riddle... Centuries had past but could not see. Only words, letters and words... Papers and pens... Roses and bears... But could not feel. Singes and numbing. Carving and etching. Only words and the sea and a couple of stones thrown out to be words of broken glasses and shattering rivers of me. When one reads out a riddle, one should think and answer back. One should not stare blankly on the jumbled yet clear yet muddy yet singeing picture of the moon and stars and planets and windows and octaves and the sea.

Unwinding with Anne Elliot

2008-03-26T16:56:00.000+08:00

Wooh... Day off... and i have nothing better to do than to browse the Internet all day - recustomizing my custom emoticons and all... It's a good thing the electricity came back... Imagine sleeping in Manila in the middle of the day with you jeans on and no electric fan - as in nada... Torture... I was sleeping near the window and the door still hoping for a soft breeze, or even just a breath from the dog's mouth (eeew) just to cool me off... Anyway, i my search for a little academic and mind working personal time, i have stumbled on Jane Austens on sale... I bought Emma and Persuasion earlier today at National Book store... I was thinking of buying just one book with a budget of three hudered and below, but i aw these books tagged with P99.00 at the back... They're both paperbacks(obviously) but hey! It's not like it's pirated or something... I'd still get the same quality of Jane Austen's wit and 'dark humour' as that in a four hundred something ish... That's why i bought two... Emma and Persuasion... I was even thinking that the tags might be an accidental mistake by some stupid tag pricer, but really, when the cashier swiped the book over the censor (whachamacalit?) the price was even lower... each book costs 79.50... Imagine that! And i have started reading Persuasion when the lights went out... and so far, so good... I'm still at the part where Anne looks back on her Wentworth days... still the beginning... I'm hoping i'd get the same chummy feeling i had when reading and watching Elizabeth Bennet on Pride and Prejudice... Really chummy... ampf! I think i internalised too much and even thought i'm living her own life but in the 21st century and minus Mr. Darcy... I just felt i had Elizabeth's wit and all... and was thinking of Keira Knightley while reading her... Hohum... Tell me more good books to hunt and read... Just to take my mind off e-mails and dumb Windows Live Messenger customers. http://faithtjessica.spaces.live.com

Sinong mas Love mo? Si Tita Barbara o ako?!

2008-01-31T08:28:00.000+08:00

I promise... The title has nothing to do with the entry... di rin pahalata na sinusubaybayan ko ang barbara noh... the ending's lame... minadali nila... OKAY!!! hindi na nga eh!!! Ang pag-uusapan natin ngayong umagang ito ay tungkol sa babae... I just had this fleeting thought when i woke up today... Hmmm... Actually i always have this fleeting thought... Feminism... What's in a name? Feminism has branched out into dozens, if not myriad, of "types" - which i'm not really familiar of. Being a biology major, Feminism is taught to us in a scientific view. Well, i know that there's a post-modern feminist, a hardcore feminist, a"conservative" feminist (meron ba nun?) atbp... When i joined EBa (Engkwentrong Babae), i always hear people telling me that i'm being gender insensitive just by joining it. The fact that EBa only recruit females only shows that EBa could not transcend the gender sensitivity issue. The fact that EBa focuses on women goes to show that EBa does not really value the issues of other genders - value, in its truest meaning. The fact that I could not distinguish myself as part of any specific feminist movement makes me a feminist just by mouth. Feminism, what's in a name? I consider myself a feminist, but i could not categorize myself as part of any "movement"... True, the feminist world itself has radiated into several points that those points have been negating one another. No system is ever perfect. The Feminist movement isn't either. One branch has its downfall, the other has too. But, each sub-movement has its own good point. And, every good point depends on every good situation. I can't identify myself as a hardcore feminist or what not. Being a feminist doesn't mean that one does not recognize the rights and concerns of other genders. Maybe the term gender-activist is a more appropriate word to use. But then again, branding myself as a feminist doesn't really make me gender insensitive, does it? What's in a name? If one would learn how to appreciate the other, if one would know respect, one would surpass the brand even that one has given itself... Empowerment... That's one word most of us have been using, or so we thought.... The core of it is yet to be discovered...

Ang Maniniyot (The Photographer) - i forgot what language that phrase came from....

2008-01-07T12:12:00.000+08:00

The Cabuyao Pictures are already uploaded... Some pix from Itogon sauna and hanging bridge included.... Click this: http://picasaweb.google.com/PromotingSelf/MtCabuyao

Taming Cabuyao

2008-01-05T19:24:00.000+08:00

04 Jan 2008 - first liwaliw of the year... emy, k-ann, kang, kryssa and i all hiked the steep and seemingly unwalked trails of Mt. Cabuyao... No mountaineer was there to guide us through the trail. All we had were heavy baggages, limited water, unexcercised bodies and a 2-year-old memory of Cabuyao. Only emy and k-ann and i had been there but never really knew the trail... We just think we would know where to turn left or right when we're in front of the road... Really... A week before the climb, we're all really skeptic going up there without any guide to aid us through... Andrei and several others insisted on not pursuing the "adventure"... There were reports that people were lost in the trail... Ang pampalubag ko lang sa kanila, no one ever died during the climb - or was there?

Anyway, we were all skeptic but all's well... we went down alive... it didn't rain that day even though the skies were threatening rainshowers... Greenvalley was very foggy but that didn't stop us from hiking - well, almost... we found the rock campsite... And ang assessment? Napaka-chicken ng trail... "Sana nag-night trek pala tayo... kayang-kaya pala eh..." wahahaha... a punchline from most of us... payabangan lang... pamuka kay Almira at Jodi Sta. Maria... hehe... a personal joke... i dreamt a night before the climb that i was leading the group up the mountain and all of a sudden Almira (played by Jennylyn Mercado in "La Vendetta") and Jodi Sta. Maria (of Patayin sa Sindak si Barbara) were suddenly there in the trail haunting us... Freaky? Wahaha... Joke time... Was i watching too much TV? Has Jennylyn's pregnancy news gotten into me? Was Jodi's reappearance in TV also a hit to me? It was really funny... the four of them were teasing me and during our campnight, they're all telling me that anytime soon, Almira would be showing up... That P.S. I Love You song (La Vendetta's theme song) was the number one LSS (Last Song Syndrome) of the trip.... Really, really stupid... But that night before the climb i thought it was freaky... I had a hard time getting back to sleep... Focker!

Ok... So everything was good naman... Baguio's really congested - and is that a good thing? Baguio gave us the fireworks we deserved... and that fireworks display was pretty... Buti nalang the lambanog's 80% proof hasn't punched me yet... Gad! We drank 2 bottles of Bubblegum flavored Lambanog... 80% proof... We were down at the 2nd bottle but still i wasn't tipsy... But my last kampay made me... Focker! Probably it was psychological since i want to get a bit drunk that night... Or am i just that weak?

And about that Lambanog? Kryssa Drank!!!! Wooohooo!!! the power of peer pressure... Love it! She doesn't drink - AT ALL... And she would not want Kang drinking too... But we tricked her into drinking with us... We played cards and the one who would lose should get a shot... And she's sport enough... hehehe... Next time, lasingin si Kryssa...

Again, about that Lambanog, annong klase yan? Para kang uminom ng gin bilog at ngumalngal ng juicy fruit... Focker! Papangit daw ang uminom nun... (I'll kill you emy for that retort...)

Ay, nga pala... May kasalanan ako kay Cabuyao... On our way home, we trekked up to the radar station with a large black garbage bag... It's so heavy that k-ann and i had to stop several times than necessary just to rest... Our basura would possibly not be THAT heavy... Our basuras were heavy because we have to clean the campsite from the basuras left by the previous campers... Gad! there were decaying lechon and manok in that campsite... Piece of advice - and a bit on biology - lechong baboy and manok are both biodegradable items... But make sure you dispose of them above the topsoil not above a rock... Why? Because it would not decay properly on a rock and Mother Nature would not have the lechong baboy and manok's decaying vitamins put into good use at a faster time... Get it?

So, anyway, we cleaned the baboy campers' mess (together with their nonbiodegradable stuffs) and placed their basuras in our garbage bag and carried that VERY HEAVY BASURA up to the top... We were sweating ling crazy and remember: We were out of water and the sun is right on top of us!!! We just ate the cucumbers we had and hoped the water content of the fruit would replenish our dehydrating bodies... Anyway, k-ann and i decided to leave the black bag of basuras beside the trail... My heart was heavy that time... really... And it just gained a couple of pounds 3 mins after (or probably less than 20m) we left the basuras and found out that the radar in just less than 20m away... Deymn!

An unsolicited advice to everyone - including moi - Please throw your trash in the right place... If you can't live with that, you can trash your house for all i care, but please don't ruin a beautiful place with your kadugyutan and decaying lechon manok... It's not nice...

A New Year, A New Blog

2008-01-03T08:01:00.000+08:00

Funny year... 2007... Been through a lot - though not really A LOT... January 07 kicked off, kicking me right in the rear, opting - no, pressuring - me to start my data gathering for my bachelor's thesis (just for fun: Phytofiltration and Hyperaccumulation of Nasturtium officinale (Watercress) to Lead)... Wait, was it January? No, February i think... Or March? Did i even do a thesis? Ok, all i can ever think of about January 07 is graduation... yeah, graduation minus the thesis, minus the exams, MINUS PHYSICS 72!!!! And then, grad pics passed - and i'll keep puking as long as i live everytime i see my yearbook creative shot (which reminds me that i still haven't seen my yearbook after several months from graduation)... And then, basketball season passed - to which i enjoyed my last year playing getting more and more afraid of ACTUALLY playing inside the hard courts... Freaky? And of course, the most unforgettable near death experience and my first climb to Mt. Pulag... We've been there for 3 days but we never climbed the summit!! Frustrating... 2nd day was really really stormy up there... Good thing our tent had a fly that our tent was a bit dry inside... Most of our classmates were flooded inside their tent when it was still noon that day... Grabe... That day, it was recorded as the coldest day in Baguio... Kaya, how cold had it been in Pulag that day, i wonder... And while climbing down Pulag, i've sworn that i will go back to that angry mountain, appease Kabunyan, kiss the summit and see the four lakes - iterinary? Akiki trail... Kamon! An ambitious attempt by a frustrated mountaineer who couldn't even do a simple - as in NAPAKASIMPLE - descend from a very low rock wall (is it even called a wall? It's darn too low for a wall) that already has steps... At nga pala... one of the frustrations from the climb is that i never had a chance to capture the scenery of the exploited camping site and the flattened dwarf bamboos... sheesh... Sablay!

Ako to, pababang Pulag... Eto ung dead Pinus na binalutan ng mosses...

Eto na ung Pinus... Napakaganda... You'll see more of that in up there... Lalo na sa mossy forest...

Me and classmates sa Ranger Station, Babadak, Kabayan, Benguet...

Now, it's 8.27 am... and i'm hungry...